Is it All Greek to Me?

'Eγινα άλλος άνθρωπος (I became a different man)

Nov 20, 2020

A synopsis of the last post - what “being Greek” entails

The last post explored the culture surrounding my experience of “being Greek.” The core aspects of the article revolved around Greek identity in regards to the Church, food, holidays, and family, i.e. how being Greek greatly affects the conceptions of all four of those items At the end of the post, it briefly discussed my identity of myself, concerning to my “Greekness.” I posed a conundrum: although I am Greek, how Greek am I, and, will this identity continue?

Varying levels of being Greek

A piece of the conundrum is not if I am Greek or not, but rather, to what extent I am Greek. To explore this question, it was important to lay the groundwork of what identifying as Greek entails. Moreover, it is important to realize that I do not identify with a “yes or no.” Instead, I answer with a “how much.” In this manner, being Greek can be thought of as existing on a spectrum.

As presented in the diagram below, based on the wavelength of light, we classify different forms of light. Even though we can only see a small fraction of the spectrum of light (visible light), several other forms of light exist.

Humans can see a tiny fraction of the electromagnetic spectrum.

Even though we perceive a limited range of light, a multitude of other light beams exist. Whether we observe them or not, their existence remains. Furthermore, the different forms of light alter based on factors (explanation by Khan Academy). Likewise, my identity towards being Greek behaves similarly to the electromagnetic spectrum; whether I observe it or not, it can change across the spectrum based on a multitude of affecting factors.

A personal history of my levels of identification with being Greek

As I conceive of my Greek identity, and likewise, the conception of myself, it can be broken out into several different stages:

As a child, in NYC (ages 4 - 9)
As a preteen and teen, in RVA (ages 9 - 16)
As an adolescent, in RVA and Charlottesville (ages 16 - ages 19)
As a gentleman in a relationship, in various locations (ages 19 - now)

Growing up Greek in NYC

I grew up for 10 years in the NYC area, which hosts the largest number of Greeks in the US. As such, I was “being Greek” often; I attended Church frequently, visited many Greek restaurants, celebrated my name day and large holidays, and spent a ton of time with Greek family and friends. Outside of elementary school and recreational sports, my world revolved around a Greek identity.

Some of my first memories involve the Greek Church I attended in NYC. I remember Tuesdays caroling during Greek School, Fridays dancing Greek dances, and Sundays reciting the Lord’s Prayer. These all occurred from ages 5 - 8. Even before those memories, I remember other times from my childhood that centered around my Greek identity. Barbecues for siblings’ birthdays always involved family; they talked in Greek, listened to Greek music, and often, ate Greek food. I spent holidays with family; from Christmas Eve at my aunt’s house to Thanksgiving at my immediate family’s house to Pascha at a New Jersey Park, the atmosphere was identical to barbecues, albeit it was indoors: Greek language, Greek music, and Greek food were omnipresent.

All in all, my childhood was a typical Greek-American experience, with the Greek Church, Greek food, Greek holidays, and loud Greek family as constants.

When I was nine, a rarely thought about phenomenon occurred. My immediate family moved to Richmond, Virginia (RVA), which, seemed like a huge deal to the rest of the family.

6 hours (on a good day) and 360 miles: a drive up and down I-95 that my family and I often completed.

The move was not a huge deal only because my parents each lived their entire life of 40 years in NYC. No. It was because we would be removing ourselves from our Greek identity for an indefinite period of time; who knew what the repercussions would be? Nonetheless, in July of 2007, we said goodbye to NYC and hello to RVA. Turns out, it was a goodbye to my singular conception of being Greek, as well.

Growing up Greek(?) in RVA

Living in Richmond, my family frequently visited our local Greek Church. (In fact, it is known through Richmond as being “home of the Greek Festival,” a Richmond staple.) , I attended Greek School, practiced basketball at GOYA, and served in the altar during religious events. Through it all, my relationship with my Greek identity radically shifted from my previous identification.

For the most part, I viewed myself as other, rather than Greek. Within the context of America and the way society treats me, I am very much white. Within the context of my Church and my identity, I did not view myself as Greek. Conditionally, I did not view myself as white, either; at school and recreational activities, I could not relate to the “whiteness” exhibited by those around me. For example, wealthier classmates who played tennis and travel soccer and football colleagues who hunted and fished, I viewed myself inhabiting neither of their groupings. That is totally okay.

Here is the kicker, though; as compared to my conceptions in NYC, I no longer identified myself with Greek, either. I thought, through those years, how can this (meaning RVA) be Greek, when my religious school classmates do not speak Greek, when my GOYA peers do not listen to Greek music, and when (seemingly) no one related to the homey Greek food I loved.

(As a tangent: when I was in 6th grade, I realized my identity of being Pontian, i.e. ethnically Greek people from the northern part of Turkey. This identity temporarily aided me in losing touch with my Greekness. However, like my feelings towards being Greek, this new identity further muddled my previous clear-thoughts; if I was not truly Greek, or properly Richmond Greek, or really Pontian (only my mom’s dad was), what was I?)

Ultimately, I constantly compared the RVA Greek to NYC Greek, the latter of which seemed authentic, compared to the former. To ensure I conceived of this mismatching identity, my family frequently traveled to NYC for vacation, around a handful of times each year. This furthered my thoughts on the compare and contrast between the two, as I constantly interacted with both sets of Greekness through many years of my life.

Instead of acting Greek, I intended to act other. For example, I listened to music (Dirty South, and later, Drill) I knew no one else around me enjoyed, yet related to prominent experiences by other people. Additionally, I turned away from the fall talk of weekly football and the associated fantasy leagues, and instead, pivoted to the NBA, where I could explore a league seemingly unknown to those with whom I spent my days. These two new-found interests stem from my lack of feeling Greek, yet, also work to drive me farther from my Greekness - with each passing day, my knowledge of typical music listened to and sports played/talked about by Greek-Americans dwindled, creating a cycle of greater distance to my previous, unified identity.

Even though I actively showed up for GOYA basketball practices, tournaments, and social events, I found less and less attachment to them.

Growing up.

Another turn in perception occurred around the time I received my license. In this coming of age moment, my fortunate circumstances (i.e. being allowed to drive by my parents) provided me the opportunity for greater direction in my life. While inspiring freedom, it created division within me. Instead of feeling obligated to attend Greek events, like GOYA, for example, would I really have to?

During my junior and senior years of high school, my attendance slowly dropped at Greek events. While I still taught Greek, that was my main attachment to the Church. I could miss services due to extracurricular events and skip GOYA events due to school projects and homework. Now, with the ability to choose whether to attend or not, I could prescribe a seemingly greater control over my Greek identity. In reality, this time left me with less control over my Greek identity.

Through high school, I interacted with Greeks less and less; even my own family spoke less Greek at home and had Greek relatives visit less often. Therefore, I spent less of my time directly with my Greek identity. This pattern continued in college.

College whittled down my Greek identity even more. Irrespective of my feelings towards college (to be discussed at a greater length in a future post), my Greek identity suffered more impacts to mask its identification of frequency to me. I did not join the “Hellenic” club at my college. Yet, I did seek it out, before deciding not to join — my pessimistic attitude (developed over the years to what is “Greek”) led me to believe the club would entail similar experiences to GOYA, something which I sought to leave behind, not bring forward for another four years.

So, I continued a process I began from my latter years of high school. I masked my formerly Greek identity, hiding it to fit in better with others in college. For example, if I wanted to better connect with liberal arts classmates, I had to better relate to their lived American experience, rather than my experience as a Greek-American. I believed that if I lived out the latter, my thoughts, conceptions, and ideas in class would be regarded as illiberal and hidebound. Because I left a part of who I was (being Greek) at home, I had an extremely difficult time finding a great fit for me in college in any group I joined — I joined them without part of me, so while experiencing a “group,” I never fully experienced it within the context of myself.

Along the same line as the classification of electromagnetic waves, I could no longer articulately measure the amplitude and frequency of my Greekness, hence, its classification along the spectrum became unclassifiable.

From my junior year of high school to the beginning of my junior year of college, my Greek identity became unknown to those that knew me. In turn, the ostensibly simple Greek identity I knew from my childhood extended further from my mind. Furthermore, I continued the process of identifying with others in those years — I continued to have an affinity for different music, sports, and now, academics, than what would be typical for a Greek-American. But, those years also showcased that I was definitively not other. In college I could not prescribe to my love of hip-hop, the NBA, and certain areas of history, anthropology, and human thoughts, as others claim those topics distinctly as part of their identity — if I were to claim them, that would be an injustice to those that have a greater stake to such claims.

Realizing how I have grown up, and forward.

Only in the past few years have I studied my history of relationship to my Greek identity. Like the scientists who discover the electromagnetic spectrum, I am discovering my own Greek spectrum.

From the age of 19 until now, often, thoughts about my placement of my Greek identity along a spectrum occupy my mind. Compared to the three previous stages, I now can conceptualize my life external from itself; my experiences, memories, and thoughts as unfettered objects, as compared to bound realities that I could not divorce from my own living. For example, when visiting New York around Christmas of 2019, I visualized my experiences unfolding before me as a part of who I am within the grander domain of my prior lived experiences and thoughts. I realized that the desserts I ate, the words I spoke, and the time I spent worked to develop the tastes, hearings, and visions of future, past, AND present moments.

I realize the extent to which I have grown from the singular, Greek-American identity of my childhood and the extent to which I have grown from my lack of identity in more recent years. Now, I realize that the feelings and conceptions towards such classifications were and are all valid — they occupy who I am. Moreover, my present and future identifications of my self will be shifting, with regard to the environment and actions I locate myself within.

Living back in my birthplace (The Bronx) affords me special moments to recollect on memories. This time helped produce and further my thoughts of the past few years in regards to this topic. Day in and day out, thoughts render in my mind that grant me the competence and know-how to better conceptualize my Greekness.

As time progresses, I will better classify my Greekness, and likewise, associated feelings and thoughts I hold at each classification. This is an extremely important task, as my Greekness corresponds to who I am. It taints the way I interact with others, view the world, and populate new sensations. Therefore, I must understand understand my placement on the spectrum in order to better understand my self-placement in the environment and lived experiences around me.

Afterward to my conception of self

I know a Greek identity inhabits part of me. The level to which I express, identify, and live with it has changed and will change over time. I can make predictions on the extent of how Greek I am, moving forward. (For reference, I can do so by making predictions based on best practices, as described in Superforecasting: The Art and Science of Prediction by Philip E. Tetlock.)

During some eras of my life, I will more frequently visit Church, eat Greek food, celebrate Greek holidays, spend time with Greek family, and speak Greek. However, the inverse may also be true. The extent to which I recognize, reflect, and ultimately learn from these changes rests on my own undertaking of the topic at hand — the view and conceptualization of myself.

I can consider myself a Greek-American. While this identity can embody part of me, it is not an everlasting, defining aspect of who I am. Rather, it is a part of who I am, that can be related to at varying levels, depending on the status of my view of myself.

G and the World

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