Posted From: The Bronx, New York, United States
My first exposures to games
In late 1999, my parents took a picture of me smiling at a camera. What is noticeable from the picture is my presence in front of a computer - I was not even two at the time. According to my parents, I was playing on the computer (yes, legitimately playing) when they took the picture.
As I got older, I stayed attached to the computer. More specifically, the games it allowed me to explore. I played CD Roms full of games: Math Blasters and Arthur's Camping Adventure were a couple highlights. In addition, I traversed various Nintendo consoles; the Gameboy Advance and Nintendo 64. I played Bases Loaded and Super Mario 64. I constantly shifted back to the computer to play Civilization III and IV. I later explored the depths of website games such as Miniclip and Addictinggames. Even further, I spent hours playing PGA Tour 2003 and MLB 2k5 on the Xbox. Wow, I spent a lot of time playing video games.
That’s not all: I spent hours training my brain on Brain Age on the Nintendo DS. I completed my first rebellious act in 2nd grade; I hid my DS under my bed and played Pokémon Mystery Dungeon Blue, wanting to uncover the storyline from the game (it is a thrilling one, actually…). I spent hours smashing cars in NASCAR Thunder 2003, aiming to be the only one left racing after the other 42 could not (I completed that challenge, yes). I spent hours playing with my dad and sister Super Monkey Ball I and II on the Gamecube. Another party game, Mario Party, also consumed hours of my time. (Wow, the flashbacks are really flowing for me now.) I hit home runs in All-Star Baseball ‘99. I welcomed the ability to play a rated T game, The Simpsons Hit & Run. I played cracked computer games, like Fifa 09, Madden 08, NBA 2k8, and NHL 09, on a desktop with Logitech controllers. I tied in my love of the Civil War and games by playing the History Channel: Civil War – A Nation Divided. I played long games of soccer (the maximum allotted time for halves) on Fifa 12, while my Pappou (Grandpa, in Greek) watched, thinking it was tapes from old games. I stayed up late (2am) and woke up early (7:30am) to play the original Black Ops with middle school friends. As middle school ended, I shifted from console to desktop, playing League of Legends to later hours in the night (4am) with people I met from around the country. The game was addicting; I played for over two years, sinking over a thousand hours into it. (For reference, at least 6% of my life in 9th - 10th grade was spent on that one game!)
Wow, I played a lot of video games. My ability to play video games was rarely stifled - only once was I banned a week for playing Gamecube.
Simultaneously, I spent time playing games with family members. We played Monopoly and The Game of Life often throughout each calendar year. With siblings, parents, and extended family, I always cherished the role of banker, which allowed me to showcase my ability to complete quick math.
In my spare time from those two endeavors, I played card games. I spent hours playing ξερή with my Pappou. I learned many types of Poker through Hoyle Casino. I spent time playing preloaded games on the Windows OS, like Hearts!
Games, as an aspect of family history
Throughout my life, my family and I actively play games together. We have spent hours after dinner on our phones submitting prompts for Quiplash. I have played endless games of 2k20 and Call of Duty Black Ops III with my youngest brother. I play Civilization VI with my older sister and other brother. To me, I conceptualize games as family affair. No longer do I play solo, but I play with family. When I think of family time, I often think about games, as well.
What does this conception mean for the way I think about family, friends, myself, memories, and generally, life?
Games center our attention on joy, which is a main point of living lives
Imagine your life without joy, of any sort; no joy in past memories, no joy in future memories, no joy in the present, no joy from within, no joy from others. Seems dull, to say the least.
Without joy in our lives, our purpose to live dwindles. Fortunately, games lead to a suitable way for many to find and produce joy in our lives. Games provide an accessible outlet for creating and living with joy in life.
Playing games gathers yourself with others. Virtually or in person, it establishes a point to which all entities focus on. This gathering of attention is important, for a few reasons, as it:
Establishes a common area of focus
Creates a shared interest
Places everyone in the same time and place
Similar to how food transforms to meals with the presence of others, games transform to joy when played with others. Playing games, and the joy derived from them, designs a lived experience unique to humans; we form common, recorded memories that shape our views of the past, present, and future. We feel happy thinking back to experiences, alive in the current moment, and eager looking towards future occasions.
Pitfalls of games, if played incorrectly
Notwithstanding the ability to generate excitement around games, games in and of themselves should not be the object of focus when creating joy. By focusing on games as the center of having fun, a few risks emerge.
First, focusing on games, rather than the joy they bring, can lead to the game itself being the focal point of enjoyment. The joy will come from the game itself, rather than interactions with others. In this manner, games lose their predominant benefit of bringing people together. Instead of realizing the joys of playing with others, people tie their enjoyment to the game’s end result. For example, I rationalize that I only have fun if the game is going my way.
Second, a heavy focus on games can lead to potential problems. Instead of enjoying the time together, players relinquish those feelings and instead turn inward to the game, full-stop. When this occurs, disagreements arise related to the game itself; cheating and fighting are more likely to occur.
Third, people do not connect with others. With a greater focus on the game itself, players lose the focus on those playing the game with you. This leads to a loss of the human-connection arising from playing games with others; turning on blinders to those around to hone in on the game itself.
My evolving view of games
As each day goes by, I participate in games at a less frequent rate than in the past. Compared to other (new) activities I am participating in, like reading, playing games occupy a dwindling share of my time each day. If games create happiness in life, why then, am I rationally doing this? There are a few reasons why I am spending a dwindling amount of time on playing games:
I am no longer playing games by myself.
I am not seeking out experiences to play games with others, as much as I did at younger ages.
I complete other activities that I consider games.
As noted earlier in the post, I played a lot of video games. I did not realize the amount I played was a lot until recently. I would long to play a game when coming home from school - it was the activity that I looked forward to every day. Thinking about that makes me want to cry. I missed out, at many points, on the best part of games — gathering with those around a common point of focus. As a child, I often filled my time by myself and with games. While fun in the moment, it did not provide me with overall joy; it only stymied my current goal of finding activities to enjoy before, during, and after they occur. So, I now only play games when it fulfills the goal I set out for them; long-term enjoyment. In terms of games, this only arises when playing with others in a dedicated format, so, this is now the only time I play games.
Because of the realization of the huge amount of time in the past playing games, I realized its joy comes from the time spent with others and not the game in and of itself. So, I refocus my time I spend playing to be with others. However, the time I spent playing with others is not as much as it used to, for two reasons. First, by bringing to light my past obsession with games, I now subliminally associate all games as undesirable and unwarranted. Second, I do not have cohorts to play games with as much as I did previously. In middle school, (almost) all boys played CoD. Now, it is much harder to find someone to play Catan or better yet, find six others to play Diplomacy for 6 - 8 hours.
On another point, I play less games now because I spend time on other activities that provide similar benefits as playing games does. For example, instead of longing to play games post-work, I now long to spend Friday Date Night with my fiancée, or, to prepare food for the guests we are having over the upcoming weekend. While very different in nature, the benefits those two activities provide, gathering with friends for the creation of lifelong memories, are very similar to the benefits playing games with friends. While Date Night or having friends over might involve games, the central point of the event is not the game, but the time spent with others. In a separate example, I now spend time reading and writing (like this blog). In this manner, I give myself dedicated time to experience lasting joy.
(Important to note, I am beyond excited to play Civ VI with a brother and a sister — who knows how long this will take!)
While my longing for joy remains present, the method in how I achieve it has shifted over the years, and ultimately, improved.
My childhood revolved around playing games of all sorts. Games provided me the opportunity to first experience joy by myself and with friends. As I learn more about the world around me, my conception of games and their benefit has shifted. Nonetheless, games offer a way to achieve everlasting joy in life: by creating memories, living happily, and looking forward to time spent playing.
Next Steps
Thank you for reading.
This is post 7.
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