Beyond Sand and Waves: The Beach
Rediscovering The Beach in a brand-new light
Posted From: New York, New York, United States
Have you visited Virginia Beach? Did you enjoy it?
Chances are, I'm in a very slim minority vote “It is my favorite beach.” I stand by it.
2008 → 2016: Don’t Worry, Beach Happy
As a child growing up in NYC, I never frequented the beach.
As a pre-teen in Virginia, my family and I visited the beach once a year. My two parents and four siblings would pack into our minivan and take the two-hour drive (typically three and a half with summer traffic) to Virginia Beach for a day trip, usually on one of the hottest days of the summer. We met our aunt and uncle from NYC there, as they would stay for an overnight trip. After a few years of these day trips, my parents decided it’d be best if we stayed with my aunt and uncle for one night. Instead, of a one-day trip, our vacation doubled to two days, simultaneously doubling our odds of burning from the sun.
This was the one vacation I looked forward to each summer. Forgetting the omnipresent traffic, packed beaches, and sand in every nook and cranny, the beach filled my heart as a pre-teen and later as teenager. I viewed the beach as a world filled with play, relaxation, and scrumptious snacking. Seeing the planes with the original banner ads flying, burying one of my siblings in the sand to their neck, and waking up at 4am to go fishing on the pier with my uncle; all are bygone memories of those vacations.
After vacationing, I never questioned what the beach would be like without tourists, without a wide boardwalk, or without warmth. I thought at any hour of the day, the pier would be visited by uncle-nephew duos like my uncle and myself. The beach would be filled with boogieboarders catching waves (and sand). The boardwalk would always have people renting and rollerblading, with or without me. Ultimately, I viewed Virginia Beach as a spot of vacation for the masses; space to enjoy the sun and summer. (Surprisingly, the boardwalk at Virginia Beach was likely my first experience with a bike lane — a topic for another post.)
2016: A Tidal Shift in Experience
With what turned out to be amazing timing, my parents bought a beach house in The Outer Banks (OBX).1
Prior to 2016, my knowledge of OBX was limited to a few instances. In 5th grade, fellow Richmond classmates would have their emails include "OBX" in some way or another.2 The only other knowledge of OBX I had was from shirts of classmates that said "Brew Thru."3 In fact, I lost the school-wide Geography Bee in 5th grade because I thought Myrtle Beach was a part of OBX!4
Before 2016, my family and I never vacationed at OBX, not once. In July 2016, I went with my dad for the inspection (for a day trip). I remember the sun that July day being as bright as so many other VA Beach day trips we took, although we drove past VA Beach and onto North Carolina, for a total drive time of 7 hours. On the way back from the drive, I reminisced about the day trips to VA Beach, not thinking once about future memories I could make at the “new” beach.
2016-2020: Shifting Thoughts about “The Beach”
From 2016-2020, I attended college. During that time, I visited OBX a handful of times, however, only in the winter months.5
Visiting when it was not 90+ degree Fahrenheit opened up new realizations. For the first time, I understood that The Beach did not equate to people playing at the border of waves and the sand or walking along the boardwalk when the weather was warmest. In fact, there was not even a boardwalk in sight! The Beach could mean more.
I spent winter days waking up seeing The Beach, with no one on it. I waited for the sun to rise, peering above the Atlantic and the dawn sky. I walked north and south, and sometimes south to north, with the wind constantly hallowing in one of those directions, and only one. I examined multiple types of birds, hunting and eating their food in groups over the water. I viewed from the rooftop deck how the sun would set over the bay, amazed how another day passed. I looked up from the hot tub into the night sky; I viewed my first shooting star. I played endless pool tournaments, getting a tiny bit better each time.
In October 2019, I had the chance to go into non-freezing water at OBX. The waves reminded me of the day trips to VA Beach, albeit my mind (and lack of chafing) reminded me of the stark differences. Sure, there would be less sand in my bathing suit; that was quite easy to notice. My mind noticed something else; a revisiting of those day trips to VA beach. While The Beach was a natural boundary between land and sea, it became apparent that there was an ephemeral boundary within my mind about The Beach.
2021: By The Shore
After those four years of quality time vacationing in the colder months with family and a handful of friends, I had the opportunity to stay longer at The Beach.
In January 2021, my first two-weeks of full time work, started at the OBX beach house. By the end of those two weeks, I realized how little I know about a "beach."
Aldo Leopold's mentions in his novel "Sand-County Almanac” that
"the physics of beauty is one department of natural science still in the Dark Ages."
Although published in 1949, I am still awaiting a “department of beauty” at a university. It was hard to understand the totality of The Beach. For example, I had no way of studying it with perspectives I gained while vacationing.
Yet, I took small steps with reflection. My old view of The Beach, learned through day-trips to VA Beach, was shattered by a new view I learned from spending time at OBX's beach.
A beach, I began realizing on that 2021 trip, is not a place simply filled with tourists (that's Italy, duh!). Nor is it a place simply apart from human, man-made nature reserve.
Instead, a beach is nomenclature to signify limits. It is where our human's visible power (land) meets the unknown (sea).
2022: A Weekly Dose of Vitamin “Sea”
In 2022, my family and I spent our first warm-weather week at OBX; the third week of June. We saw dolphins, went tandem kayaking, and relaxed on the relatively empty beach. Given the warm weather, amount of time spent playing in the water, and abundance of sandwiches for lunch, this trip should have seemed more like the VA Beach day trips, but it did not. My mind did not easily accept the new definition of a beach that I constructed in the prior several years; there was tension between my younger and older selves and the definition of The Beach.
Could I enjoy The Beach if the weather was only 70s, and not 80s+?
Could The Beach be enjoyable without its ephemeral "day trip" vibe?
Could The Beach feel real without chafing?
Without taking time to reflect, I left the family vacation feeling underwhelmed and saddened. How was that a beach trip without the constant playing in the waves, burying ourselves in sand, and eating ice cream on a boardwalk?
2023: Sea’s The Dream
In 2023, I returned to OBX. I spent January 2nd through the 8th at OBX. I watched five sunrises and five sunsets. I walked South then North on the beachfront daily. I continued playing Bocce, Pool, and PS4; the staples of a winter OBX beach trip.
However, I also continued noticing The Beach itself. The way the tides created new indentations in the sand. The way seagulls and Eastern Willets searched the waters for signs of life (aka food). The way packs of dolphins came out of the water for a breath, or two; almost to show me that they are there, in both winter and summer
.
How little I knew about The Beach. How much more I have learned. I now know how tides ebb and flow, how sunrises and sunsets create picturesque landscapes, and how the wind blows.
Seemingly ingrained, I feel The Beach is a place of me. While I was younger, this meant play: with people, sand, waves, and fun food. More recently, it has meant reflection: with work, family, nature, and myself.
In the future, I'm positive it will be another part of me, so long as I create time to embrace, and reflect, on the teachings of its beauty. “The physics of beauty” — a nice name for a future university class…
Post 15.
Coincidentally, I happened to visit Virginia Beach that same summer a few weeks prior for the last time, when I visited with my then-girlfriend on the way back from our time at a nearby bay for our "beach week."
I fact checked this by revisiting spam email chains still in my Yahoo inbox.
If you are curious about what Brew Thru is, view this short video.
I guessed North Carolina -- real answer is South Carolina.
My parents bought the property for rental income, so the house was rented for the 8+ warmer months of the year.